In love with someone who may be out of my reach... (and the most dramatic tale of my life)

#1
Hi Ladies,

I used to be quite active on the message boards, but I have to admit that I have been absent for several years, I'd say 3 or so, but I recall how I used to come here for moral support and the wise input of you fine ladies...so whether anyone is interested or not, I feel the desire to lay it all out in journalistic style...

Last I had posted, I was in a relationship that I thought was heading for marriage, so much so to be at the point of designing a custom ring with David Klass. That poor dear, he worked with me endlessly to design the most perfect setting, inspired by Tacori, as well as some of our favorite designers we have spoken about on here. As it turns out, man was not the one for me. He was holding me back from being at my true potential and without even searching, I suddenly met a man whom I wasn't even looking for. Me, a 32 year old divorcee at the time, having had several miscarriages, a suddenly handicapped pomeranian (as some previous posts have detailed, and I thank you for those blessings you ladies provided in my time of need), was suddenly faced with an alcoholic boyfriend and a need for intellectual conversation. Enter the love of my life, a 25 year old (at the time), genius businessman and heart palpitating-ly handsome Pakistani.
We fell in love quickly in June of 2014 and I have been in both tremendous love and tremendous pain ever since. First, he fell for me, and within weeks I for him until suddenly panic hit him and he thought how we can never be together because of his cultural background and that his parents would never approve of his union with an American. Still, we could not turn away from one another and we decided to have as much time together as we possibly could, no matter what the future would hold. We have made many memories in the past 16 months and with every smile I felt, I have also felt a tear occupy its place.
In April, he told his parents of me. Their response: absolutely not a possibility and we will not speak of this again. But yet again, he and I found new determination. I am the only one he has here and he the only one I have too, and so we became each other's closest family. Any and all of his family are either 1000+ miles away in the U.S. or back in Pakistan. We love one another so deeply and with such companionship; we are each other's best friend; we do everything together, and down to every minor or major decision, we consult with the other.
For more than a year, I have believed that he would never fight for us due to his desire to never hurt his parents, and how could he, with being the only child to fulfill his parents dreams after a tragic accident took his younger brother and sister when he was just a young child? Ever since, they have invested everything in his success, to create their only legacy.
I obviously come here now because marriage is on my mind, as is true with so many posters on the BTD message boards. I've never before been at this point with him. But the thing is, I have hope. I've had hope before, yes. But this hope, it's different. I found out about three weeks ago that he has been secretly talking about me to his parents for the past four months. Nothing major, just small things. It has begun with him saying, his friend this, or his friend that; with me always being the nameless subject. But finding this out before their current 4-week visit did not excite me as it would have a year ago; it couldn't because I couldn't let it, for I have been so accustomed to living in reality rather than in the fantasy that would so comfort me.
You see, Mani has changed my life. He showed me hope when I was moments away from succumbing to a life with an abusive man, one who had paid for the ring from David Klass which had just arrived on our doorstep only 4 days after my first encounter with Mani. I told that man that I thought we should wait, and though I didn't tell him why, he called off the entire relationship. I was okay with that because I saw a hope for my future, even if it wasn't with Mani at that time, I had already seen that I deserved more. I moved out and got a place of my own, with Mani's full support and urging that I go back to school and finish my degree, even at my age and having lost nearly a decade to PTSD and a subsequent seizure disorder. I am now about to finish my first leg of my degree; an associates in science.
Now, back to his parents and their visit. Being that Mani's mother's birthday would be the day of their arrival in the states, I wanted to get her a gift, one that she would know was from me. I picked out the perfect thing; a gift that would be the first piece in their new recently acquired home, which was a gift from Mani. She loved it and even brought me gifts from Pakistan as a thank-you. Meanwhile, Mani has injected my name and as many positive attributing mentions of me as he possible can muster without seeming overbearing. Today, we decided he will show his parents photos of me and I have to admit that my nerves have never been more intense because, so many aspects of my future are in play and I know exactly what they want for their only son. I know that above all, she should not be white, American, in her 30's, or middle-class.
Please keep us in your thoughts, because I hope to one day post here, on these message boards, as an elated betrothed to the one man of many who has given me hope for life, faith in myself, and so many moments of joy; moments of which have never occurred in my 33 years.
Thank you for your interest in listening to my story. It has helped just to write it all down...
Much love to my kindred spirits,
Kara
 
#2
Hi there! WOW! You have been through so much. I was just saying the other night - with regards to situations such as yours - why oh why can we not just see the love one has for another and let it go at that? Why do we need to have the same this or that? Isn't it the differences that make us each unique. I would never beg for the family to accept me - I would hope that they would see who I am and judge me for that only. If they do not accept you - It doesn't mean that you two cannot be together. You are both adults and are entitled to a life of your own. God gave you both life and there is only one life to be lived. Go out there and live it - we never know how many days we have to share together. It would be a pity to waste even one. (Hey...we have the same name...but mine starts with a C) :0)
 

MissCassie

The Pink Orchid
#3
In his culture I know disappointing his parents is a big deal, and I don't want to minimize that, but truly, you get one life, and so many people do not find the person who really completes them, and hopefully, with time, his parents will see that. I hope , for both of you, he does fight for you and your relationship. By acknowledging that you knew this would end and not trying to force or guilt trip him, he probably saw how idiotic it would be for him to let you go. It sounds as though he is making slow progress with his parents, and if it is that important to him but it takes years, as long as you are together, that is what matters. Ideally, he will win them over, and if not, I h p email you two end up together regardless. Keep Loving one another, and it will all turn out.
 
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