Felt shamed by jeweler?

#1
Hi all! This is my first time posting on this forum, although I used to be pretty active on the Better Than Diamond forums back in the old days. :)

I feel the need to make a post and get your feedback on a recent experience. I've had my engagement ring since 2016, it's a peach sapphire in rose gold with a halo. It was designed by David Klass and I love it. I recently purchased a Zaya moissanite on Etsy from J. Hollywood Designs and am pretty excited about it (haven't received it yet). The new stone is just slightly larger than my current (half a mm widthwise, 0.89mm taller). I emailed David and he said it shouldn't be a problem and he can still use my setting for the new stone, and will just extend the prongs a bit.

Yesterday I decided to stop by a local jeweler (who has great online reviews) because the thought of shipping my ring all the way to David was bumming me out... I'm impatient and didn't want to wait any longer than I have to lol! So I explained to this local jeweler that I'm swapping stones. As soon as I uttered the word "moissanite" his demeanor changed. First he looked at my ring and said "well your prongs need a lot of work anyways, the metal is already worn halfway down" which I don't really think is true. To me they look the same as they always have, but I could be wrong. The he made a comment about my peach sapphire and how "you don't see those very often" which I felt was weird because they've been VERY popular over the last 5 years.

Then he finally asked "so why moissanite?" and just the way he phrased it just sounded so judgy. It caught me off guard and I didn't formulate a very good response. I think I just said something about liking how it looks. Then he went on and on about how a lab diamond is so much better and how I basically made the wrong decision.

So now I feel like I'm better off just shipping my ring to David and just waiting the few extra days for shipping time. I just felt weird about the whole encounter... why are some jewelers like this?? I've been researching moissanites for years and I feel pretty educated on them. But all that knowledge left my brain when he questioned me lol.
 

Dana ♥

The Centenary Diamond
#2
maybe he's also one of those jewelers who also tells people that their rings need to fit half a size tight so that they're "secure" - which was pretty much the standard/common up until, i dunno, maybe 25 years ago?
and if that's the case, perhaps the only experience he has with Moissanite is the old flat-topped, green-tinged kind. (nothing against those. but if that's your only reference point to Moissanite, versus a more current lab-grown diamond* then you might be biased?)

*plus that lab-grown diamond might be something he, himself, could sell you, and make more of a profit than he might by just swapping the center stones.

i will say that if your new stone is even just the teensiest bit wider, and taller, then your prongs will most likely need to be retipped so that they can be reseated, to be sure your new stone fits securely and doesn't spin or rattle in the setting. it, unfortunately, isn't as simple as just opening it up, removing the old one, and dropping in the new one, unless they are exactly identical... and even then it is still better to retip and reseat.

(it was years and years ago now, though) i used to have relatively decent experiences with those kinda shady looking "Fixed While U Wait" kiosk looking setups at the mall than i ever did in a "real" jewelry shop. i don't know if those exist anymore, or if there might be any in your area, but those folks were almost like "ok? you want me to do this and this? sure, come back in four hours," but really i think that's why so many of us find somebody we trust that's willing to work with simulants or other "unusual" requests (in my case, all my 9kt and 10kt rose gold) and deal with the delays of shipping to not feel like we're dealing with a Mister JudgyMcJudgersons.

i am sorry you felt shamed, though. that's just not right. my husband proposed to me with a gumball machine ring (i mean... literally... two quarters, spin the dial, get a plastic bubble and a surprise type gumball machine ring) that i wore until it started to rust. i still have it, and he replaced it with a nicer one, of course, but.... it shouldn't matter if you've got a $5k stone you want set in a $250 ring, or a $5 stone you want set into a $20k ring. the person you're working with should just want you to be happy with it, and do their best to make sure it is set securely and well, and that it fits you nicely.
 
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